How to give a good speech? Tips for the amateur speaker.

Whether at school or at work, sometimes it is impossible to escape situations that call into question our abilities for all kinds of things, sometimes we have to make scale models, sometimes we have to work as a team and sometimes we have to give a talk, exhibition or conference in front of a group that can vary in number of people but the common denominator is usually the same: Nervousness.

For that there is a very good book entitled How To Speak To Any Audience by Ken Howard, it really is very good and provides good tips on how to handle these types of situations, and seriously, after reading it you want to go and stand in front of the first audience you find and start talking about anything.

But if you don't have the time or do not want to read the entire book, here we summarize in 3 simple points the most remarkable aspects of the book for when the occasion presents itself in your life.

Put some order in your ideas.

You have been told that tomorrow, in a week, in a month you will give a speech, that's it, resign yourself, it will happen, and sooner than you think, so instead of overwhelming yourself planning ways to prevent that from happening, why don't you put some order in your brain before the big day arrives? Separate the speech into topics, it will be easier, your brain can be stunned if you try to memorize everything, find the balance between reading and talking, think about this, would you pay attention to a speaker who is only reading a text or a few slides?

The use of keywords on cards relieves tension a lot and gives you a hand when it comes to remembering, our memory tends to be very visual so the use of images is a useful reinforcement, and talk about it, do not try to impose your ideas, everyone will keep what they consider usefull and dispose the rest, you simply communicate things and you're done. But please, do not communicate them as a robot.

Practice makes the master.

It is not as if you were going to do something that you have never done before, if you were asked to sing in front of the public and you have no experience at all then you would have a big problem. But talk? You always talk, with your family, with your friends, probably even with your dog. So just do it, it'll help a lot to give yourself the speech first, or to record it if you want, you can even practice in front of a mirror, imagining the public in front of you, and what will you achieve with this?
Well, you'll internalize it and become less dependent on the notes and cards, who knows, you might end up learning it all, not even needing a single reminder note and speaking as fluently as you never thought. For the nerves of the "day of judgment" the key is not to imagine crowd naked (although if it does work for you; go ahead) rather, it is recommended to pay attention to breathing, do it deeply to bring oxygen to the brain and calm your crazy ideas about everything going wrong.

Free your mind (Take it easy).

Howard's book says: "If you start with a joke the rest of your speech may no longer matter". Of course, the use of jokes is not always applicable, there will be audiences with whom it is not advisable, and if you cling to use that resource no matter what and plus the joke is bad you will look stupid before you even start.

Very important: If a mistake is commited during the speech and you highlight it even more by saying "I'm sorry", that's like the worst thing to do, if there is a mistake it is best to continue as if nothing had happened.

To be in constant movement at the time of the talk is recommended but do not abuse it, it is not good to bring the audience following you from one side to the other, eye contact is also important, distribute it among the spectators, do not stare at the most attractive girl or to the person that you consider key in the crowd, like a teacher or your boss.



And with those 3 tips if you don't do it perfectly, at least you won't give the most boring talk in the world, keeping things interesting (like when you talk about your last vacation) is easy when you get to the idea that even if things went awfully bad; the world does not end for you, it didn't end for Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky back then, even less for someone who did not give a good talk.

But you will do well.



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10 Types of friends you DON'T need in your life.

It's easy to be friendly, but being a friend, carrying that title, by all means, that's something else. There are friends who change your life for good and then there are those toxic friendships that leaves you exhausted and emotionally disappointed.

Maybe, it is time to re-evaluate some of your friendships. Here are 10 types of friends that you simply do not need in your life.

1. The one that never has time for you.

The one who has all the time in the world to party seven days a week, but coincidentally is always busy when you need him/her for a favor, a tip, a conversation, whatever that does not involve alcohol and partying.

2. The one that does not have initiative for plans.

If you are the only one making plans and you are the one who makes that call to set up a weekend plan, a trip to the beach, etc. If suddenly you notice that if you never call that friend, he/she will not call you, then, what are you doing?

3. The one that disappears when you're having a bad time.

It is during difficult times when you most need a sincere friend who is there for you and if this "friend" is only there when things look good... I regret telling you that he/she does not deserve a place in your life.

4. Those who come to you when you are at your best.

In the opposite case to the previous point, if when things are going just normal you barely see that friend, but as soon as you get a stroke of luck and everything is rosy in your life, magically that friend appears! Just remember that when the stroke of luck disappears, so will he/she.

5. The one that makes you feel like a piece of shit.

Being honest is a great quality in a friend, but there is a thin line between being honest and being cynical. You do not need unnecessary and constant criticism about everything you do in your life; that's not a friends' thing.

6. Those who don't trust you at all after so many years of loyalty.

You are not the one to blame if someone else betrayed him/her in the past, if after many years your friend still cannot trust you fully, then that will probably never happen.

7. The one that changes the way he/she is while being with other friends.

When no one's around he/she is the best friend you could ever ask for, but as soon as his/her other friends arrive his/her personality changes and suddenly turns into a pedantic person, a bragger, someone totally different and with other "qualities" you don't really appreciate. That's a 'friend' with masks.

8. The one who does not forget or forgive.

We all make involuntary mistakes, but if that friend does not forget what happened or is incapable of really forgiving you and spends time reminding you when you screwed up then, believe me, there won't be a happy ending in that friendship.

9. Those that are too competitive (like... way too much).

Oh man... I hate this kind of "friends"! I call them "the always one step ahead". A moderate amount of competitiveness is motivating, it is healthy, but if they spend so much time comparing and highlighting all those things that (according to them) they do better than you and others, that's just pathetic!

10. Those who are ashamed of you.

These are the worst, true friends are those who love you for who you are, and they accept your shortcomings. If someone is constantly trying to change you or even worse: talking about how imperfect you are behind your back! Then as the saying goes "with friends like these, who need enemies?"




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10 Reasons to live away from your family at least once in a lifetime.

Living in the house where you grew up and where you have always lived is amazing, isn't it? Well, on one side there's mom and dad, you get up late and breakfast is ready, you have services like water, electricity, telephone, internet, gas and you do not have to pay for them or maybe they make you "pay" with chores but please! That is a life dreamed by many.

Everything is honky-dory until one day you have to move! Whether if it is to another city, state or country and for whatever the reason it is, to study, to work or because you're a risky crazy person who "wants to try the world out there". So... Now who is going to cook for you? Who will wash the dishes and pick up your clothes?

Calm down, you are about to discover a new world that will make you grow personally and emotionally.

Here are the whys:

1. It makes you, better yet, it forces you to carry the 'Adult' title.

Since there are not mommy or daddy around anymore you will soon realize that you have to take care of yourself, unless daddy keeps paying for your stuff but, come on! That's cheating. So if you do it properly, you'll find a place to live, you'll pay your bills, clean your house, you'll do the cooking, shopping, etc. And yes, it will be tough, but it will be one of the greatest lessons of your life.

2. It makes you a decision maker.

At the beginning, they may not be very good decisions, but you will improve. Things from deciding how much to save and how much to spend, to how often do laundry and other small and large decisions. Even if you're not super nailing it, it feels good to know that you are in charge.

3. You learn to adapt.

You'll realize of all the whims you had when you lived with your family, things that you didn't really need, and you will also learn about priorities. You will suffer sometimes, if there's no milk you will have to drink black coffee, if your favorite shirt is dirty you will have to use another one, but you will learn to flow, to adapt to situations, and it will not be something you are ashamed of, just the opposite, you'll feel pride because you will grow as a person, it'll be a new you.

4. It will improve your dealings with people.

Living alone gives you the tools you need to deal with all kinds of people around you, it makes you more friendly, smarter, more empathetic, more assertive. You will also learn to coexist with those who do not necessarily have the same opinions or lifestyle that you have, and this is good.

5. It gives you self-respect.

The moment you say "this time I won't ask my dad for money, I'll handle it" and you can see yourself in the mirror and realize that you are achieving it, that you need less and less of that unconditional support that your parents will always provide but you'll leave for mere emergencies; You'll be transformed.

6. It'll give you more privacy.

Living alone means not having to deal with rules alien to you, no more sermons because you were late, or because you did not clean up, etc. You can bring anyone you want to home, you can organize a camp in your yard if you want, you can even put the rule "beds lying is prohibited in this house."

7. It gives you time to think about life and other things.

More privacy means more time to reflect on life and your personal goals and dreams, the mistakes you have made, among other things. If before you could not eat without being accompanied, now you will learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with loneliness: you will learn to be comfortable with your own company.

8. It helps you to appreciate more your parents, family and friends.

Once you live it you realize the effort involved in making things work, you will appreciate the sacrifices and the hard work that your parents had to make in order to get you ahead. Remember to call them and thank them.

9. You can finally have a pet.

You may have been already allowed to it when you lived with your family, but not everyone has the same luck, or maybe they wouldn't let you have it inside the house, now you can have a scorpion if you want (just be careful), but assuming you opt by the traditional dog or cat you can have it wherever you want, it is also an excellent option to keep you company.

10. You can decorate as you wish.

Unless you live in a nursing home which is not very recommendable from the point of view that you would have again some "parents" and rules under which to be, if you rent a place you can put the posters you want, a neon sign of Budweiser, Coors, Heineken or whatever you want, there will be no censors, if your parents visit you and try to impose their decoration, that's wrong, it's your place and you decide how things are ordered (or disordered).




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How To Make It Through College.

College is probably one of the most important stages in the life of any person, it is for many and for others, it is simply the last step to the freedom from the social pressure that dictates that "everyone should have a university degree".

It doesn´t matter what your situation is:

1. You do it to please your parents.
2. You want the title so you do not feel like a failure.
3. You really want to be a professional.

Or whatever the reason is, if you want to reach the end of a career the truth is: College is tough.

To grant you the access to that highly desired title, teachers are going to make you sweat, they will make it difficult (not all of them though) and many students abandon the dream and stop trying before achieving it. Probably you have already felt that kind of desperation and desire to give up, the frustration that some subjects are so difficult to pass, the anger with some teachers.

But hang in there, this process will end some day, you just have to put up a bit, move step by step, and the day when you say goodbye to homework, exhibitions, exams and teachers will finally arrive.

Here I have gathered some tips that helped me through this process through the different classrooms and steps needed to earn a university degree.

• Pick a career that you really, REALLY like.

Think about it, even when you are studying something that you really love, that doesn't mean it won't get complicated, now ... how do you think it would be to study something that you are not passionate about?

So, choose wisely, choose something that is worth fighting for, something that truly motivates you.

• Make a graph of your progress.

To make this process more bearable you can make a table with different squares, for example; each square can represent a semester, so that each time you finish a semester you would be crossing out that square, this can relieve tension in those moments in which you want to send everything to hell, you take your graph and observe everything that you have advanced, it is motivational to say " I've already taken care of more than half of it, just a little more."

• Don't let your grades define you.

 

Think that one day you will be 50 years old or older. When that happens, will you remember that you got an F in math?

Live the moment, the present, enjoy it, enjoy your friends, befriend with your teachers and do not worry too much about your grades.

In my case, I did the best I could and I used to see all my classmates asking the teachers for their grades, I never asked or became interested in just one grade and in the graduation: Surprise! It turned out that I had one of the best averages of my generation, and if it had not been like that, would it have mattered? Hell no! There's work for everyone out there, for the best and for the worst average.

• Friendships that impel you to succeed.

You have no idea how much this helps, if you have friends that support you, friends to have fun with  (I mean, not everything is studying) and friends that will be with you during the different processes of your career, well, that is very motivating.

It helps a lot to get up every morning to know that you and your comrades are looking for the same goal, and in the end you stay with relationships that will last your whole life (remembering stories after many years is the best).

• Promess it to someone.

Finally, if you are struggling to achieve it and the lack of motivation is growing, maybe you can "inject" a little stimulation by making a promise to a loved one, your mother, your grandparents, your partner, someone who deserves that gift, the gift to see you finish your career.

This also provides great personal satisfaction, when that day finally arrives and you say to that person: "I made it, and it was for you" is a moment you will never forget and that you will carry in your heart for the rest of your life.

My best wishes.