“Why does she choose that oaf?” He wonders, the one who treats her like a queen and puts everything on a silver platter for her, no one blames the good kids, that's how many of us were raised, “be respectful, behave,” all of that is fine, but too much is the master key to unlock a room called The Friendzone, but, did I say room? It's more like a huge warehouse where all the good guys are, the ones who typically try to reach a woman's heart by being very kind to them.
So, what could the good guy be doing wrong?
1.- Always be a little TOO available!
Apply it to yourself, if you always had something, whatever and whenever you wanted and how you wanted, would you still find it attractive? What we happen to have just a little of, what we don't know if it will be available when we want, that's what attracts us!
So whenever she calls and without exception you say “of course, I'll be there right away”, you are putting everything on a silver platter, and by everything I mean all the reasons for her to send you to the Friendzone.
2.- A shoulder to cry on, a counselor, and a psychologist.
Earn her trust is one thing, but becoming another of her beffies works against you abysmally, this goes hand in hand with the first point, if you are always available to listen to how another jerk broke her heart it simply won't take you anywhere, well... it´ll take you to her couch to hear about her latest rupture one more time, but no further than there. How to avoid this? You better not cross the line of the Friendzone, stand up straight and make your feelings clear: You are her suitor! Not his “beffie”, “BFF”, “friend”, and by no means her "counselor".
3.- You try to please her at all costs.
Don't get me wrong, they love a gentleman who knows how to treat them like a queen, in the proper way, but if your whole life revolves around her approval, what are you doing? If to every comment she makes, like “I love cats” you respond: “Me too!”, or you agree and perform every request she makes without exception... Go and buy yourself a nail polish kit at once.
In your incessant efforts to satisfy her you are only showing her your lack of will and a weak personality, you cannot blame her for labeling you as a man who has no opinions of his own (someone who is not interesting).
4.- Demasiado miedo a la iniciativa.
She may perceive your shyness as “cute,” but if you expect her to suddenly grab you and say she can't take it anymore and kiss you… Where do you stand as a man?
She can be very open-minded, but it's still up to you to take the interaction to a romantic level. Okay, it's 21st century! This and that... maybe she expects to feel the advancements in your relationship are up to both of you, just don't let her bear all the weight of the progress (unless she's like... reeeeally really into shy boys).
5.- The annoying habit of giving advice when no one asked for it.
By reminding her what she is doing wrong and what she should do with phrases like “maybe if you gave yourself the chance with someone who isn't a jerk” frankly... you are yelling at her that you like her, that you want something more with her but you are so afraid and lacking initiative that you want her to ask you to be her boyfriend. Pathetic, don't you think? Plus she already has a mother and/or sisters for those little tips and love advice.
6.- You fall into the Friendzone because you allow it.
If you are too kind and such a good boy, you will be like a boxing bag, someone who does not defend himself, there is a difference between being kind and having no character. If you never object to being “friendzoned” you will simply never get out of that category.
How do you object? With actions. Every time she starts treating you like her best friend, you do something that makes it clear to her who you are: her suitor. For example, a “beffie” does not steal kisses, nor does he look at her from top to bottom and say “you are absolutely stunning today”.
7.- And finally the most common and important reason why you fall into the Friendzone.
You are boring! Sorry to say it like that but good guys rarely offer something exciting and fun to do, under the constant pressure of being a good boy they stop being funny and adventurous, have you heard the saying “if you want to reach her heart make her laugh”? It doesn't mean you have to act like a clown on a unicycle, nor does it mean being a reckless adventurer addicted to adrenaline.
Just give her memorable fun times with you, something that she relates to you and can say "that was amazing", examples include camping, sports, concerts, trips, dancing, and a long etcetera that a good boy would say "I'll pass", you better do not pass; Go ahead!
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