We have all heard the saying "do something you love and you will never work" or something like that. Doing something that we are passionate about and being paid for it is an opportunity that is not presented to all of us.
The thing is, what do you do when what you get is a Customer Service position and now you're listening to the complaints of countless people every day? Usually, to settle, which sucks, but bills have to be paid, right? But what if we worked on something highly entertaining, different and also highly remunerated? Surely our lives would be perfect.
They would be at first glance, but opening the range of possibilities these dreamed works not only have pros, but also cons, oh yeah, here are the 8 luxury jobs that some of us would kill for having:
1. Guinea pig of the DEA.
Those drugs that are highly prohibited to the general public and punishable for those who consume them are now allowed to you and for free! Also the new drugs come to you before anyone else, you are the test man who is given a new dust that makes you hallucinate with parallel worlds and strange creatures, your job is to determine the degree of purity and quality of all the crap confiscated by the authorities, in other words, you have to tell them how hard it hits and how it feels. You have the license to try everything and if you insult the sergeant on duty you'll be forgiven as you were under the influence of some narcotic.
The not so good part:
Some narcotics that they give you are making you trip very badly, you have been close to a heart attack while hallucinating some serious freaky stuff, also you spend days in seclusion from society so that you are not going to commit any nonsense while you are drugged, your lungs now resemble two bags of garbage, and you are also starting to grow what appears to be a third eye in the neck as a result of the mutations caused by the chemicals you have ingested. The worst part is that every time they let you out to "take a brake" you are anxious to return and get more crap injected to your veins, your degree of addiction is already incurable.
2. Game Tester.
Those endless afternoons that you spent in front of the TV playing Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Xbox, Game Cube, Nintendo 64, Play Station and other consoles were not in vain because now you work for a company that pays you for your "reviews" of the new releases that come to your hands before anyone else, your job is to detect failures (bugs) in the system or the games' programming and to inform the company about it. I mean, damn man! You get paid for being seated all day scratching your belly and testing all kinds of games! Your friends envy you so bad, even your dad envy you!
The not so good part:
After 6 months you have played so many videogames that you no longer distinguish what is the reality and what is not, the company requires you to finish the games in less than a week so you can barely get up from your chair to go to the restroom or sleep, you missed the graduation of your sister for being playing, but not because you wanted, because it was your job! Suddenly it stops being fun, you hate receiving a new game and as you do not know what the reality is anymore you end up killing a pedestrian because you thought you were playing Grand Thef Auto.
3. Rock Star.
Whether you're the frontman of a recognized band or its star drummer, being a rockstar has to be fancy. Millions of fans all over the world, all chanting your songs about how unfair life is and the groupies waiting outside your dressing room to... meet you, but you're tired of superficial sex, you're more into cocaine and your little friends the let's-be-happy pills. You go partying with Bono and when you feel intense you invite Eddie Van Halen, you get along well with Ozzy and soon you will release your perfume for "authentic" rockers like you. When you die your life will be made a movie.
The not so good part:
The audience doesn't torgive that you change your music style, even if it is YOUR style, if you accustom them to a sound and suddenly implement variations in your next album they will never forgive you. In addition, there's the abuse of drugs, many rockstars end up like Amy Winehouse. And speaking seriously, rockstars spend most time of the year away from their families, you'd have to congratulate your mother on the phone on her birthday because you would be in another country, you'd probably be reunited with your loved ones on Thanksgiving or Christmas and that's it, you'd have to hurry up and continue with the tour.
4. The handsome professor of the faculty.
Being a teacher in a school full of young girls who sigh every time you enter the classroom is not bad, but this only works if you are "the handsome teacher", not "the teacher that's more or less" but the handsome. In addition, you only have to transmit the knowledge you acquired in your career, practice pedagogy (not pedophilia) and then get paid for it.
As a teacher, you have the power to determine who deserves to approve and who does not, and you never give your arm to twist, except when the tears of these helpless girls sprout and they ask you if there is nothing they could do to pass your subject.
The not so good part:
As you are the handsome teacher, the principal, counselors and other school authorities are going to put more eyes on you than on "the teacher that's more or less", or on the ugly teacher, they know that many students could... tempt you, and if they surprise you teaching Sexual Education to a student while your subject was Philosophy then goodbye work and goodbye freedom.
On the other hand, when you dare to give an F to "Miss Perfect", "Miss daughter-of-the-city's-richest-man" it will be more than likely that the next day you have her parents (or their representatives) demanding that you better educate their poor innocent daughter, it is your fault that she had not passed.
5. Dictator.
If you have ever crossed words with a citizen from a communist country you probably noticed how much they love their type of government and their country, for example, it didn't matter how much it was said about Castro; the Cubans loved him (obviously we cannot generalize).
Now imagine being a dictator, you would be the absolute boss, the most charismatic man in your country, and whoever dares to deny it would suffer the consequences since you would have an army at your feet protecting you even from the flies in summer, you would not give explanations to anyone and your crazy ideas like "The Purple Day" would have to be obeyed and everyone would have to go out into the streets dressed in purple.
The not so good part:
You would probably exaggerate with your power and a great majority would end up hating you, especially when you tell them that they're not able to leave the country for any reason, suddenly you don't trust anybody, nor your bodyguards whom you change every week and have already entrusted them to shoot to your own shadow because you don't trust in it. Also think about how absurd the communist system is; A certified doctor earns the same as a shoemaker a day, someone would end up killing you sooner or later.
6. Soccer Crack.
For some reason when a soccer player is very good they start to classify him as "crack", and I thought it was a drug, but anyway, imagine being a God of the ball, you put it (the ball) where you want even with your back, you make spectacular shots at the angle, people shout "Goooooal!" every time you do your own and those feet of yours are worth millions, they love you in Europe and well, you are the sports figure that children dream of being. Not bad huh?
The not so good part:
Hurting yourself on the court is as easy as brushing your teeth (which you have to keep perfect for your next commercial of the toothpaste brand that sponsors you). And once fractured or seriously injured; Goodbye to the dream. In addition, each world cup, tournament, league, whatever the case, half the world looks at you (because you are the crack) and the fans do not forgive a single mistake.
7. The barman of the most exclusive celebrities club.
To prepare a drink to Katy Perry has to be lit, even when you already told her that she has drunk too much but she insists. As the barman from the club of clubs, you have access to witness the disasters that celebrities commit when there's a lot of alcohol and a little or nothing of prudence. You turn and see that there's Lindsay Lohan playing with a white powder (apparently flour) and on the other side Leonardo DiCaprio has just vomited on Margot Robbie, also when they're in a good mood they agree to give you and autograph on a napkin or to take a picture with you.
The not so good part:
Some celebrities have a reputation for being not very kind to NOT famous people, some examples are Tobey Maguire, Avril Lavigne and Cameron Diaz, so you could get mistreated by the stars that visit the club, they could ask you for a drink snapping their fingers and calling you "a dirty piece of slowness with feet", plus, it would only take one of those celebrities to complain about you with the manager and your position would be held by someone else, and they're more than likely to complain about anything, even the fact that you're not one of those barmen who juggles with the bottles.
8. Photographer editor of National Geographic.
You are good with the camera and you have captured incredible moments, so many that National Geographic decides to hire you, from that moment on your expenses are covered to travel to the most hidden places on earth and to capture the essence of other cultures, they pay you a more than decent amount of money for traveling! Your breakfasts, lunches, and dinners are for the account of N.G. and you only deliver visual material at the end of the month in order to get that fat check and then you wait for your next adventurous mission.
The not so good part:
While you imagined that they would send you to Venice or Hong Kong, it turns out that your first mission is to go to the most hidden point in Africa where it seems that the only tourists are the flies and the bees (obvious African ones) that won't stop bothering you, besides, you return from your mission sick with Malaria, Ebola or God knows what it is but your skin is falling and if you thought it was leprosy the doctors already discarded it. You barely recover and they send you to cover the Middle East war, they practically want you to stand in the middle of the shootings and document all the suffering, but the only thing that the camera will see are shots from the floor while you run terrified.
And those are the 8 jobs that many of us would even pay to have, after knowing their pros and cons your friends of I'm Bored, Tell Me Something recommend you to better find a position in the adult films industry, although being a porn actor or actress must also have a lot of cons, we don't know which ones, but there must be a few.
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